There's No Cure To Love-Sickness
by Risa Hijikata
Summary: GinHiji/ HijiGin drabbles that are mostly melancholic in nature. -COMPLETE-
1. Chapter 1

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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If only I could have you, the world would be coloured. Glitters of silver and blue clouding my vision like the second layer of sky.

If only I could read your thoughts, this fear will never came to be. Insecurity and doubt raging turbulently as crashing waves on a stormy night.

If only I could see your smile, this suffocating longing would be satisfied. I would stop clutching my heart today and feel your hot skin upon mine.

If only, if only.

The unspoken wishes much like a teenage girl's.

But I am me. So it is enough if only you would turn your head in this moment. For then I will say, 'Tch, stupid perm'.

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**A/N: Please don't throw tomatoes at me for starting this. I'm super busy atm n not feeling enough love for my OTP so I just hv to write this :D I'll work on the others next weekend :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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I woke up to the throbbing in my head. (Must have been caused by all the alcohol I had last night.) It is nothing unusual.

I heard the banging on the door. (Must have been the old hag asking for my three-months-late rent.) It is nothing unusual.

I got up, I ran, I hid in the family restaurant.

I ordered my favourite parfait and spent the last of my yen. It is nothing unusual.

But I miss it,

the anomaly to my life.

The flutter of dark hair and wisps of hazy smoke, the certain clicks of boots and disgruntled baritone; I miss it all.

So I look through the window, waiting for his reflection to overlap mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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Today again the sky darkens.

Sympathising with my mood, sympathising with my heart.

Today again the sky cries.

Blood pours from the dying, a waterfall of conscience from my heart.

Today again the thunder strikes.

A flash of light, and the red stained his pure hands.

Enough.

You should not have come. Should not have seen.

For this burden is mine and mine alone and though I know you are a demon, this sin is mine to carry. Do not stain the hands of my loved one's any further.

It is enough. Today again we bask in the sunlight peeking through the grey.


	4. Chapter 4

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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Soft whispers that tickled the ears, mumbling words that I cannot comprehend.

The scarlet flame burning on his cheeks, spreading through the tips of his ears.

Eyelids flutter like the wings of a butterfly, his gaze lowered and quickly shifts from side-to-side.

He is embarrassed, taking courage in trying something new.

A spoonful of my parfait? Sure, help yourself to the whole lot.

I have found something even sweeter than this.

This time, I will not give it up as easily.

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**A/N: As you can see, I'm addicted to this romance fic thus the sudden consecutive chp's. But then again as u can c, the word count is dwindling for the genius juice in my mind called inspiration is running dry. So... yeah.**


	5. Chapter 5

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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There is a line that one cannot cross.

Not because it is dangerous and not because it invades someone else's privacy but because it will hurt you in the end.

He told me to move, but my stubborn nature refuses to move from the stair's landing.

How long are you going to play this stalling game? He asked.

I cannot tell. Why would my heart feel this way if it were a game? Seriously, there is always never a reply to my questions.

Move, he once again demanded.

No. I will not let you go on your own. Injured and battered, what can you do in this condition? Though you may think it unnecessary of my worry for you, I will not let you go alone.

Because if you die, it will hurt me once again.

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**A/N: I've just noticed I didn't do a disclaimer! *gasp. Oh well.**


	6. Chapter 6

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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_The running man keep running and running like there is no tomorrow._

_What is it that he chases after?_

_People said time, money, fame. They quibble of whose answer is correct._

_He said, maybe it is love? _

_And they all bursts out with laughter._

_What is so funny? Is my answer so strange? He worriedly asks._

_Everyone screams he is a naïve fool. For who would chase something so worthless such as love? _

_Love is momentary, love is fleeting. It is fickle and temperamental. Is it worth more than money or fame? Is it worth it to spend your time on such unstable emotion? They all jeered at him._

_He looked on sadly at them and then closed his eyes and cupped his ears. So that is why they cannot smile from the bottom of their hearts, he thought._

_So he closed his heart to protect his love._

He closed the storybook with a thud and threw it across the table, making his way to the fridge for strawberry milk, making a mental note to complain that JUMP would have been a better payment.


	7. Chapter 7

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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The crows caw as it swoops home, towards the burning sunset.

One step, two steps, the third step that he took was slow and hesitant.

He saw an orange glow reflected through silver hair and wondered why he is sitting by the sidewalk, staring at the sinking sun in a trance.

'What are you doing squatting there, you idiot? It's getting dark so go home.'

A flick of red eyes met his blue ones but the majestic colour of crimson red and orange and pink, once again occupied his vision.

'Tch…' he grunts. He'll leave. Who cares about that stupid perm-head?

'Where-…' he paused mid-stride. 'Where-… is home?'

For a moment, he sees it. The frail figure of a silver-haired child, with eyes as crimson as the dying sunset; suffering with distrust, writhing in unspeakable loneliness in the dying light of day.

'What are you talking about, you old man? Isn't Yorozuya is your home?'

Piercing red eyes gazed straight through him. 'Is it?'

He sat down as he accompanied the sidewalk man and sighed the burden of his age away.

'There are many who are thinking of you… It doesn't matter whether you're related or not; as long as they care for you, can't you call that place home?'

The corners of pale lips creased, and he took the expression as a signal to leave.

That day, the setting sun hid his own pain away, and the crows caw as it reaches home.

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**A/N:** eh... where's the love-sickness in this scenario...? Hmmm...


	8. Chapter 8

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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Those eyes are gazing at me but they're not looking. He sees things that are far away from where I am seated and is so lost in them that the ash teeter and fall.

'Oi, are you listening?' I said and his gaze flicked back to focus. 'What do you want to do with the letter then?'

His long fingers took the cigarette from his mouth and placed it on the ashtray but it's too late, the ash had already fallen. Much like how his heart has already fallen.

'...Burn it. So I don't have to look at it again.'

I could not help but sighed.

'Listen. I've never had one so I don't know, but aren't they still your family? Even if they did disapprove of your existence when you were a child, it was understandable. Coming out as an illegitimate child back then bound to shock some people.'

His frown returned with practiced ease. 'You can burn it, rip it, shred it, I don't care. Just don't make me look at it again.'

He left, with contempt in his voice and bitterness in his heart. The letter was left forlorn upon the table.

I took the letter and kept it for him. I knew, it was too late.

His heart has already hardened.

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A/N: I think this is just going to be a random drab... but now that I thought about it, no one mentioned Hijikata's family situation much. I know he has more siblings other than Tamegoro and they didn't like him but I haven't seen a fic exploring Hijikata's family background. Such a pity...


	9. Chapter 9

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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He smiles unnaturally.

But no one noticed.

It's because he laughs and jokes and plays around a lot. The people around him are always full of laughter and are always surrounded by silly comedic events.

He wants it to stay that way.

Nevertheless, his wish was never heard.

He would unexpectedly come, and sees him in one of his mood. Would frown, and softly muttered, 'What stupid stuff are you thinking now, perm-head?' and catches him off-guard.

He would carefully mask his expression and says, 'Nothing'. But he knows, he will later visit the Yorozuya in the dark hour of the night, bringing sake and smoke, and none of the sweets he wanted. He would silently accompany him as he himself relives the past.

In the morning, he would find the cans of sake empty along with the seat that is still warm. In another hour, the noise from the street and outside his door will make him get out of bed and set him into his routine.

Today, he will smile again, and no one will notice that it is brighter than yesterday's.

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A/N: Sorry, I've been so busy, I might not be able to update til a long time... (like, the end of the year? Teehee. :P) But hey, who knows, might update earlier than that. But anyway, thank you so much for waiting...


	10. Chapter 10

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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It rained the colour of ash today.

He has not seen him for the 25th day and their paths have not crossed since he last elbowed him in the ribs.

The raindrops slid lazily down the windowpane.

He traced the pathway with his finger, and it was cold, and chilly, and piercing.

He didn't call or text. He said he was busy with this job and that job, and the loneliness is eating him away.

_Have I disappeared from his heart?_

The thunder resounded somewhere close. He jolted in surprise.

Are we sharing the same sight and sound? The flash of lightning that tore the sky in half, the roll of thunder that made the ground tremble; are you witnessing this?

The darkening clouds are a smoke of insecurity and solitude combined. It refused to clear with only simple thoughts of him.

There was a sharp knock at the door.

The visitor that comes with every bad weather.

Today I see him, when the rain is the colour of ash and the raindrops fall with certain grace.

Soaked to the bone, he was there on the lonely doorstep. He came just to tell him that, yes, they are both witnesses to the same love.


	11. Chapter 11

**There's No Cure To Love-Sickness**

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His whole body trembled as he coughed. The chest constantly rise and fall, trembling as new tremors attacked him; his entire being threatening to escape out of him.

_See?_ I told him. _Should have stopped with the smokes and the mayonnaise_. I patted his back. _They were unhealthy for you._

The complaints were swallowed by a new bout of coughing.

His stooped back seems small and frail. This sickness must have reminded him of the first love that he had lost.

I took his hands in mine.

He looked at me with a gaze that is here. He smiled a rare smile in reassurance.

_And you should have stopped with the sweets_. He said. _They're the reason you're in this hospital too. _

He chuckled with sad eyes.

I laughed, and assured him that this time no one will be left behind.

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**MERRY CHRISTMAS MY OTP! (but gaaaaaaah, why so sad!?)**


	12. Chapter 12

**There's No Cure To Love Sickness**

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He tapped his foot impatiently, his hands wrung out in front of him and passer-by's would have thought he was waiting for his wife on labor.

He couldn't stand for it any longer and was about to leave when he saw the swerving gait of silver curls and flushed drunken face. He turned, changing his split second direction, and made towards him with long strides.

He stopped only inches away from the perm's face before a fierce punch sent the perms flying, and he collapsed by the walkway with little dignity.

He was livid.

_I have something important to talk to you about. Meet me at 8pm in front of the station. _That was what he wrote in the email this afternoon.

Now, the bell resound as the clock strikes midnight. He looked at the man lying limply out of drunkenness next to the shop's sign. He would have left him there, but there was something in him that couldn't.

He half-dragged and half-supported the man, stinking of alcohol and perfume, in the direction of the Yorozuya's. He heard him muttered something incorrigible, but he was still mad and decided to ignore it.

Once again, the perm muttered something. This time, half legible, and he could make out something close to the word '…don't…'.

'What are you muttering about, you drunk? If you can't say anything proper, just shut up and sleep.'

' …don't… say any…thing… li…ke you'll le…ave me…' he slurred and that surprised him because he thought that that was what he wanted of him. He thought that there was nothing left to salvage from this relationship with him.

Soft silver curls slid forward as the perm nodded off. He jerked, trying to keep himself to stay awake without much success and he soon abandoned his effort. Pretty soon, the perm was deeply asleep and he had to support the entire weight of the body beside him.

He drew the sleepy head in, tucking him to settle into the crook of his shoulder as he tried to slowly unburden himself on a bench. It was comfortable to watch him sleep, the silver curls nuzzled deeper into his warmth and into his heart.

'…if I could, I would've done it long ago…'

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**A/N**: ah, insecurities... I love them when they're insecure. Btw, I'm getting a bit bored with this fic. Should I continue?


	13. Chapter 13

He groaned in his dream; of spilled blood and screams and raging fire persisting behind his eyelids.

The silver perm squeezed the soaked towel and laid the cool cloth upon the raven's forehead. His finger grazed fevered skin and hot breaths. The glistening sweat slid unforgivingly down the raven's temple.

The summer cicada chirped in annoyance, indicating that the humid summer had yet to end.

The barrack was empty of people. And there were no sign of anyone else present inside it. The echoes of the cicada along with his whimpers seemed loud in this wide space.

He woke from his delirium, and was surprised to find that he was not alone. The shadows of his dream made him panic for a split second, until he recognized the sway of silver and blue, and was comforted by a familiar voice.

They left him behind for a mission, he said. He was unluckily found out by the Gorilla for contracting a summer fever, he said.

He spout those things as if he were unlucky to have his hand caught red-handed inside the cookie jar.

The silver perm pushed down the figure that was impossibly trying to rise from the futon. He was met with a sluggish resistance but the patient soon relented, his strength was of no match to the healthy perm beside him.

_Sleep. I'll be here, so sleep._

It was not the raven's nature to obey but the demand was a gentle coo that coaxed him into resting his eyes and soon, he found solace inside a dreamless sleep.

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**A/N: Something comforting to wrap up this fic. Unless I'm seriously struck by an inspiration, I won't update this fic again but still, thanks for all those who reviewed, favourited and followed! :D**


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